About Me.
Hello, my name is Steven Varkiani, and I'd like to tell you a bit about myself. I'm just some typical high school kid who goes around doing, well, not much at all, really. Well, I live in a house. I drive a car. I eat out of clean dishes (for the most part, I guess). Arguably, I'm relatively average. But I like to think of everyone else as below average, and of myself as above-average. I'm an egocentric maniac in that way. It's okay, though; I'm still better than you. And loads prettier, I bet. Be jealous of my awesome beauty.
Anyway, more about myself, I guess. I'm Iranian. I don't wear a turban, and I don't go around plotting new suicide bombing techniques. I don't pray to Allah for success in Al Qaeda's plans, either. Shame on you for assuming that. Maybe I would if I knew how to pray. Just maybe.
(Note: If the NSA, FBI, SWAT etc is reading this, I don't really mean it. Oh, and I'm not Muslim either. My name is actually Steven Smith and I'm the tenth generation of very white people in this country. I'm Christian, too. Oh, and I love Obama. I loved Bush, too. Oh, and Clinton and Reagan and everyone else. Watergate was a success! Hooray, glory for the USA!)